I bought myself a new pillow yesterday as a major coup in my battle with insomnia. It's firm, yet fluffy, and alas to no avail. I still get zip for sleep.
There's this older guy who just started working in our office a few weeks ago. He has the same last name as John, and what do you know? That's all it takes to get me started on my John kick. I go on one of these about once a year, obsessing over why I didn't just hold out and wait for him (because I would still be waiting) think about where we might accidentally bump into each other and then go there, and of course, how he won't ever talk to Me again because I won't ever talk to Him again. And through all that stupidity, how there was only one (well, okay two) people who would let me talk about it - Jennifer and Amber, of all people. Not that either one of them ever WANTED to hear me run on and on about it. "You know on Brittany's last night they did the big throwing jello thing, and we were so drunk from all those Royal Flush's, and he KISSED MY HAIR? Do you think he was being affectionate or was he just eating Jello out of my hair?"
I actually think at first that Amber was rooting for it, because she would bring up all these wierd coincidinces..."You both like CHEESE. And not just ANY cheese, you both like PROVOLONE. Wow, that's meaningful, don't you think that's Meaningful?"
The embarrassing part?
I did think that was meaningful.
I've seen marriages based on less common ground than that.
There's only one thing left for me to do with the current John situation.
Re-read my old journals and Cry.

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