I just spent my afternoon being a very, very angry girl. An anger worthy of John Marsh. I've calmed down some, the prospect of the Art Bar has soothed me, and all the fabulously (and non-fabulously) clothed people that will be there. The boys with their hair perfectly waxed (no gel, as per Queer Eye For The Straight Guy) the girls with their lips all red, and that guy will be there, the one who I thought at first was a valet who turns out to be a waiter. They'll all be there. And so will I. Know why? It's friday.

I won't say I realized I had nothing to be angry about, because I did, and do. But I've calmed down enough to realize that sometimes you can't go back, not even halfway. Point in fact: Cole and I will never be friends again. Amy and I will never be friends again. Gretta and I will never be friends again. Que Sera Sera. I don't need them. I do have friends, people who love me, and just me. I have people to spend the still-warm fall afternoons with. I have people to celebrate with. I don't need to have a relationship with one person, I've got a great relationship with several different people. So tonight I'll raise three cups. One for the past, one for the present, one for the future.

In the meantime, look at how much weight I've lost!

It took me getting really, really mad to realize that despite my best efforts, I am happy. And it's good.

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