2005-01-21
10:08 a.m.
I've Fallen, Choked to Death, and Turned 27. All in One Week.
Birthday No. 27 was celebrated by too much Sake and followed the next day by not one but two near-death experiences.
The first one happened when I was painting my bedroom (Bordeaux, if you're interested) and went BAM like Emeril. Hello Floor, Meet Face. TIP: If you have to stand on something to paint the top half of your walls, make sure it's not a little chair with uneven legs.
The second one happened later that night when I was eating a seemingly harmless piece of rotisserie chicken. A little piece of bone somehow got lodged in my throat and I had to do the whole windmill arms, overstated "Help Me, I'm Choking!" hands-around-the-throat gesture. How embarrassing. Luckily, Troy was there to make both of his hands into one big fist and pound my back. I see why my cousin Claire became a vegetarian. It's more low-risk, It's not like you could actually choke to death on a hunk of tofu.
Could you?
At least I was rewarded for an all too brief (and all too from-behind) glimpse of Clancy Brown Nekkid that night.
Somehow I want to use the word "Buns" in the above sentance but just can't seem to make it work.
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